{"id":296,"date":"2026-03-28T07:00:48","date_gmt":"2026-03-28T07:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/allaboutselfhelp.com\/?p=296"},"modified":"2026-03-28T07:00:48","modified_gmt":"2026-03-28T07:00:48","slug":"how-to-stop-beating-yourself-up-self-compassion-and-self-esteem-the-friend-advice-technique","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allaboutselfhelp.com\/?p=296","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Beating Yourself Up &#8211; Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem &#8211; The Friend Advice Technique"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/fb8QJa7VHmE\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Stop beating yourself up. Learn self-compassion and boost self-esteem with the Friend Advice Technique to improve mental health and emotional resilience.<br \/>\nJoin Therapy in a Nutshell\u2019s membership: https:\/\/courses.therapyinanutshell.com\/membership<br \/>\nYou&#8217;ll get instant access to all 10 life-changing courses, live weekly Q&amp;As, and a supportive community for just $27\/month. Learn how to manage anxiety, process trauma, regulate emotions, and build lasting resilience so that you can live a deeply rich and meaningful life! <\/p>\n<p>Want help to stop beating yourself up? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https:\/\/betterhelp.com\/therapyinanutshell<\/p>\n<p>Today we\u2019re going to talk about beating yourself up. Whether you made a stupid mistake, you lost your cool with someone you care about or you\u2019re just a perfectionist with imposter syndrome &#8211; It\u2019s easy to get sucked into the toilet hole of beating yourself up.<br \/>\nAnd then you do this ridiculous thing which I\u2019m going to call the \u201cThe Self-Exemption-Bias\u201d which keeps you trapped in the cycle.<br \/>\nBeing too hard on yourself decreases your confidence and your sense of self-esteem and self-worth.<br \/>\nBut the good news is that you can learn to stop beating yourself up, improve your self-esteem and learn to feel self-compassion and love. <\/p>\n<p>Most of you are highly sensitive people, you internalize things, you\u2019d never treat another person the way you\u2019re treating yourself. This is what I call the self-exemption-bias where for some ridiculous reason, you believe that you\u2019re the exception to this whole-kindness thing. That everyone else out there deserves gentle understanding, second chances, and a listening ear, but you\u2019re the only person in the entire population of 8 billion people who deserves to be treated like crap. You really value it when your friend opens up about their struggles, but if you share then you spend the next day beating yourself up for oversharing. <\/p>\n<p>0:00 Introduction<br \/>\n0:35 Beating Yourself Up<br \/>\n1:51 How the Self-Exemption Bias Leads to Beating Yourself Up<br \/>\n2:52 How to Practice Self-Compassion<\/p>\n<p>Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https:\/\/courses.therapyinanutshell.com\/?utm_medium=YTDescription&amp;utm_source=YouTube<br \/>\nSupport my mission on Patreon: https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/therapyinanutshell<br \/>\nSign up for my newsletter: https:\/\/courses.therapyinanutshell.com\/free-resources<br \/>\nCheck out my favorite self-help books: https:\/\/kit.co\/TherapyinaNutshell\/best-self-help-books<br \/>\nCheck out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https:\/\/tinpodcast.podbean.com\/<\/p>\n<p>Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.<br \/>\nIn therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life&#8217;s direction.<br \/>\nAnd deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/comeuntochrist\/believe<\/p>\n<p>If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https:\/\/suicidepreventionlifeline.org\/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.<br \/>\nCopyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Stop beating yourself up. Learn self-compassion and boost self-esteem with the Friend Advice Technique to improve mental health and emotional [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":297,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-296","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v17.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/allaboutselfhelp.com\/?p=296\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Stop Beating Yourself Up - Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem - The Friend Advice Technique - Self-Help\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Stop beating yourself up. 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